God is so many things. He works in so many ways. I am in awe of who He is. I do not understand how in so much love He can humble me to my knees.
I have been doing a lot of rock climbing lately. I have counted now 19 blisters. I have thought it was just rock climbing I have been up to, but I think I learned today that I have been doing a lot of life climbing too.
My heart hurts. It may have blisters forming. But like the blisters on my hands when they heal they will make my hands stronger. Sometimes I think that our hearts get blisters too so that they can be stronger too.
I have been top rope climbing with God the last few weeks…heck, my whole life. I just realized today that I have been living the last few weeks in shame and defeat. I feel I have slipped from my solid foothold. My hands grew tired and my legs gave out. In my fall, I have listened to Satan telling me that I have fallen straight back to where I was a few months and years ago. Today though, God reminded me that He is belaying me. When you have a good belay partner like God even when, and there will be a when, you fall you find yourself securely held exactly where you are. Like the greatest safety net, God’s belaying will not let you fall to where you once were. All you have to do is shake your arms out, chalk up, and you find yourself climbing right where you left off when you fell. And if your arms, hands, heart, mind, legs, etc. are too tired to jump right back onto the wall of life climbing, the thing is God is never going to drop you or grow tired of holding you. You can take a break…stop your mind from spinning, listen to God, get Satan out of your head, get suited up in the armour of God, etc. My friend has been trying to teach me how to be able to shake my arms off to keep them from locking up from getting too pumped while climbing. He wants me to learn to rest so I can keep going. Funny how God is working in the same way.
I am planning on taking a few days to “shake it out”. God is not afraid of my need to rest. He has been prepared for it from day one with me. He is so strong and can hold me for a very long time…like forever! We do not live under the condemnation of Satan but the freedom of Christ. Romans 8!!!
Sometimes I am always moved to tears how much God loves me. He is so desperate for me to see me as He sees me. So I am trying to put on some God eyes glasses and tell Satan to shut the….up! Every time I climb a little bit higher I cannot go back…I cannot fall down with God holding me. God is trying to get me to see this…because when I figure it out I will be so back on that wall to keep climbing. The longer I listen to Satan telling me that I am no better or more healed then I was a few months ago then I will just sit defeated. God will hold me while I sit, but He wants abundant life for me. He wants me to keep climbing.
Man though, this route I am climbing right now is so hard. It’s tricky, it’s tiresome, it’s painful, but…God’s got this. I just got to trust Him and keep climbing!
Just a normal Thursday evening for me: sitting at work, listening to Damien Jurado, and blogging.
And that makes me think: when you climb a lot sometimes you get tired and just over wiped. You literally need a day or two to just rest and let your blisters heal. And man, I have been on the go doing some crazy things and scheming up a storm the last few months. I am tired…I need to hang.
And I need a new job where people don’t tell me I am confusing, deceptive, bad at customer service, and a not a Christian…this might help as well.
!!!!SHAKIN’ IT OUT WITH GOD!!!!
