Alice and Wonderland

"Why is it that you are always too small or too tall?" -a quote from Alice in Wonderland.

    There always seems to be something that gets in the way. The way of my goals, my happiness, my faith, my friendships, my getting in shape...so why is that things just are always going awry. Getting sick, saying goodbye to so many good friends, the dogs getting out so I am late to work, working but never having money...things just never seem to go smoothly. The last few weeks have been a dazzling example of this fact...

But something else I have been thinking of in the mists of feeling discouraged and overwhelmed:

“I can't go back to yesterday because I was a different person then.” 

By the time I finish this blog I will be a different person. I love that. I love that I get the chance of becoming more...more then I was a few seconds before...

So what is the more that will be a part of who I am?

Emotional maturity...emotional discipline.

80 YEARS AND CAKE

I just wasted an absurd amount of very valuable sleep time watching a stupid TV show...I remember now why it is nice to not have a working laptop or internet. And now I cannot sleep...it is the same thing that has happened every night I watch TV in bed before I sleep...and yet here I am once again.

Then it occurred to me: Remember this moment...

Reminder #1 for my future self: Don't watch TV in bed before bedtime.

And here it is...life is so fast. It's hard to keep up...and yet so often I put myself behind...and for what?

How much of my life am I setting myself back? One day you have to grow up. One day you have to choose between what is permissible and what is beneficial.

God is full of love and patience but what grief at the loss of the glory He tries to get me to live in.

Am I Gatsby? Am I full of fanciful hope and passion to reclaim the past? Am I asking the world for an unrealistic outcome...while spending so foolishly the hope and passion I have on something that is just as unsteady as myself?

It is hard work to achieve your dreams if they have not decided to crawl easily into your lap...but when did I become so despondent that I stopped trying to crawl into my dream's lap?

Satan does not have to be insane and pushy...he just has to be simple and close.
Am I Samson...did I give my powers up? I want that last surge of strength to push through what seems like an unbreakable surface.

Why has hope forfeited with so little a fight? And why am I so content to give into the empty comforts. The ones that keep me from fulfilling my dream and yet that I use to console my heart so broken from unfilled dreams.

Life is too hard, to demanding, and moving forward too quickly for me to continue to repeat the past. Yes Gatsby, you can relive the past...but it is never something charming to pursue. I cannot reclaim anything...I can claim what is ahead.

Just as I cannot go back and sleep the last 5 hours...
...I won't pine the loss...I will learn from the loss.

Pick up from where you are...not where you want to be.

Use the fork to eat some cake!!!