Construction

In Harry Potter there is a scene in which a house is run down with there is glass and broken furniture everywhere…and then the house is magically restored and you see all the pieces of glass reconnect and the furniture is put back together. The house goes from dark and gloomy and chaotic, to warm, beautiful and bright.

I feel that was my last night. I saw all these small lessons and steps that I have taken and that God has brought about in my life over the last 6 months all come together in this beautiful story. From learning to have to communicate and be honest, to realizing that I need to slow down enough to know when I am supposed to be somewhere and not to be everywhere.

In humourous ways God has been moving to. Bringing my relationship with a dear friend whom I have been disagreeing with everything for the last year back together based off of agreeing on the goodness of two friends (Timbre and Mason) whom my friend has never actually met. I know that doesn’t make sense but trust me on this on God is crazy wicked beautiful!

I have been feeling super held. And have been called to stand up, to speak when I do not like speaking, to be honest when it is the scariest thing in the world to me. God is calling me to be big, but I feel so small. And He is calling me to step forward.

You know how in plays there are the actors and then there are the stage hands. I like being a stage hand. You are behind the curtain, dressed in black and only stop on the stage when the lights are out to arrange the scenery. I feel like God is making me dress up and walk to the front of the stage in front of a huge audience and becoming a key member in His play. I would say I am angry at God but all I can do is laugh. He is providing me lines, awesome supporting characters, memory, calmness, etc. I am not a puppet mind you, but an active and willing participant. Although I must admit I do not remember ever auditioning for this!

I guess what I am learning is be careful when you pray…because God hears…and moves. HAHAH and it is incredible!

I am dancing with God right now. He is showing me how to hold my body up, extend my arms, tilt my head, move my feet, and count the music. It is really awesome to dance with God.

It’s really cool too because my goal in previous weeks was to dance with God.

My heart, mind, and soul are really confused right now, because the truth is I want to run so far away from what is happening and what I am being told to stand up and do. It is uncomfortable, tiring, strange, and overwhelming, but the funny thing is every fiber of my being, everything about who I am and how I have been made is so drawn to step up, step forward, and walk right into the thick of war. I am confusingly convinced that that war is the only place that I can be to find peace and knowledge.

I am rather excited, I feel like a Hobbit leaving the Shire. Scared, clueless, but bold and determined. No one ever wants to leave the Shire, but I like Bilbo and Frodo…seem to have an itching for something more.

Never has the passage concerning putting on the armour of God been so real, and so urgent.