Foggy

I think I need to find myself on top of a mountain again. I would give anything to be on top of a mountain hearing the beautiful whisper of the Lord. …One time my friend and I followed this boy all the way across campus because his cologne smelled so good…creepy I know. I wish I pursued God like that…I hate that the longer you are around a certain smell you become so used to it that you don’t smell it anymore…I don’t want to become comfortable or used to my time with God that I forget to really be with Him.

I feel so inadequate right now…in just about everything. I’m not in the most enjoyable place in my life…in fact it sucks a lot…but God tells me to wait patiently…He tells me that I am to hope in the unseen…I am told that hope does not disappoint…He tells me to rejoice in Him.

So here it is…I have God. (Romans 8/Psalms 27:13-14). This is what I have. I may have a list of things that are weighing down on me, making me angry, or what not…I may not have tickets to go to Europe with three of the coolest freaking people ever…amount other things right now that I do not have…but what I do have is God. And He is more than enough…and for some time now He has been trying to show me that…and now things are being stripped away…He isn’t leaving me without the promise of good, but He is showing me what is best…which is Him. Psalm 9:7-12. He is my stronghold. I am claiming weakness and I am claiming brokenness…but I am claiming this because God can teach me now. I will not sugarcoat the valley I am in…but I will learn that God is enough for me if it kills me. I am tired…but more so from fighting then from the circumstances I find myself in. So I am off to find rest…and an easier yoke.