I am so blessed. I have a God that loves me dearly. Fills me with wisdom and gives me friends who push me to Him and a family who believes. This week I have tried not to scheme. Tried not to figure out my next step, but revel in the Lord. It has proven to be a rather hard journey to be honest. I am struggling so much with the balance between Sprit and Truth; feeling and head knowledge. I am a wild and free spirited. I have never lived well in a box, but sometimes boxes are freedom from a world of darkness. My head is reeling and my heart is aching. Where is God? Here. Near. Holding me.
“Take the world and give me Jesus” I am trying to realize the weight of this cry.
I am just trying to live. I am trying to be faithful. It is so simple and yet so complicated!
Today God hung out with me in a cement construction tube. I am very grateful to have a God who calls me to such beautiful times with Him.
Proverbs 16:1-3…
So after a week of trying to wait on God what I am realizing is that I am bad at it. Hahaha. And that is okay, God is very patient. I am full of contradiction, and it's funny because I have been seeing how crazy God works. He is just insane in the best of ways. The way He uses wisdom to dumbfound the wise and how He loves me and killed His Son for me and how He asks us to be both full of wisdom but to be childlike to. He is not contradicting Himself. I believe He is romancing me. He is just leading me on some beautiful paths. I just am trying to learn how to just really trust Him. He calls us to some crazy hard stuff, but He is the one doing the hard stuff in me.
I applied to jobs to Nashville today.
I realized that I am a wreck today and don't know what I want with God and church.
Today...I am going to go outside and sit on my porch and be with God.
Proverbs 27:14
No comments:
Post a Comment